self care tips and goals for 2020 ✨

Monday, 13 January 2020

I would definitely be lying if I said I've gotten off to a good start this year... if i'm being completely honest, the first two weeks of 2020 has been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster for me. I've gone from feeling really motivated about the year, planning in my journals and scheduling my future events, to having the worst anxiety attacks since early 2018.. it's a lot to cope with..


Thursday, 31 October 2019

My last post was so focused on the negatives of my birthday, but when I come back out of that sad spell, I remind myself to think about the year I had and write my hopes for this year. Here are 11 things I learnt or did in my 21 years of life, and 11 things I would like to learn or achieve in my 22nd year.

-ˏˋ𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒑𝒊𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚 ˊˎ-

at 21, I ;
♡ Completed my 1st year of uni after taking a break for the year
It's okay not to know | positive, entrepreneur, business, quote, strength, strong, inspirational, graphic, empowerment, empowered,  women, female, boss babe, entrepreneur, motivational, powerful,  mindset, affirmation, joy, fun, confidence, happiness, think good  things, thought patterns, fear, fearless, fired up, self talk, change, growth, self love   -  #poetryquotesstrengthHeart #poetryquotesstrengthLife #poetryquotesstrengthWords♡ Went on my dream romantic getaway with my boyfriend
♡ Learnt to focus on the people who chose to make time for me
♡ Opened my own online portfolio
♡ Finally found my own style (well, 3 styles, but they all fit different sides of me!) 
♡ Developed the relationship between my father
♡ Created a skincare routine that works for me 
♡ Learnt to accept hardships and grow from them
♡ Started learning driving theory 
♡ Improved my punctuality 
♡ Ate more fruits and veggies and got back to the gym!

 Overall, I guess I had a interesting year. I felt like I've been more in tune with myself than ever before and I want this awareness of myself to help me in the future. I'm so grateful to have reached the age of 22. I would like for this to be the year I achieve even more things than my 21st, and try to become a better version of myself. 🌱

but what should i wear daily inspiration - 39 · But What Should I Wearat 22, I ;
♡ Want to continue loving myself and putting myself first
♡ Need to focus on education and pushing my career forward
♡ Want to pass my theory test and start driving lessons
♡ Will manage my emotions better 
♡ Want to go on holiday 4 times this year 
♡ Want to improve my social media presence 
♡ Need to maintain my gym schedule 
♡ Will pass my year at university with a high grade
♡ Shall start my self produced fashion zine
♡ Want to experience a new environment 
♡ Want to spend each day with no regrets

Until then,

Minae x


birthday thoughts #rant

Tuesday, 29 October 2019

This time of year for me is always a weird one. I guess you could call it the birthday blues? I always feel uneasy when this period of time comes around. I'll say it like it is, my birthday fucking sucks. Every year.

Look, I'm the type of person who likes to celebrate the achievements I've made throughout the year, and I think your birthday is the best time to do this. My perfect birthday since I was little was to have all my loved ones come together, to well, celebrate me. Congratulate me. Hug me. Tell me I've done well and pray for me to be better. That's all I could ever ask for yet that's the one thing I continue to not receive.

A phrase I like to believe is that, 'People make time for those things in which they care about'.

Don't get me wrong, when I receive 'happy birthday!' messages on my socials, I'm always thankful to those who go out of their way to congratulate me, but I guess you could say I put my loved ones to a higher standard than I would my work colleges and classmates who aren't a huge part of my life like my friends and family are (or should be). I don't expect them to throw me a surprise birthday, and I don't expect people to take time off work or other commitments to see me. But when I plan a day where everyone can come and no one bothers, it hurts. When I remind people of my desire to do something for my birthday and people choose to make plans on that day, it hurts.

I had a friend once, someone who I considered my best friend actually, say they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner because she had to study for her exams. Understandable right? Well, on the day of my dinner as I was on my way to the restaurant, I saw this same friend having dinner with all her classmates. Yeah.. My birthday is a constant, yearly reminder that for me, this phrase does not apply to me. Or maybe it does. Maybe those people truly don't have time for me. But if this is the case, then does that mean I cannot even rely on my best friends to celebrate my birthday? Does this mean my family who should love and support me, don't have time for me? These are the thoughts that run through my mind every year.

I'm so grateful when I receive physical gifts. People going out of their way to buy me something with their own money when they themselves are trying to make ends meet. It fills me with joy to receive gifts. However, for some reason, I always feel uneasy when I thank them. "You didn't need to spend money on me!" I always say this to them. They brush it off, but I truly meant what I said. They didn't need to spend money on me. My love languages are physical affection and actions of love. Those things don't cost anything.

I wondered if its a simple case of love languages being such a complicated concept. I would like to believe this to be true, but when you tell people "all I want is to spend time with you today" and they still chose to not do so year after year, they still chose to make other plans instead of spending it with you, they still chose that 1 day out of the 365 they get each year to do something other than spend it with me. A lot of them say "we can do something super fun next year, i promise", "don't worry, next year will be a blast, i'll make sure of it", "we have the rest of our lives to celebrate together", but that just doesn't just makes me think that no one really cares.

Maybe they don't, and that's fine. I would just like to be told that from the start so I'm not left with false hope every year.

I guess this is just me ranting about how shit I feel each year. It's difficult I feel like I shouldn't be having these thoughts. Some people don't receive anything on their birthday. Some people don't have friends or family to celebrate it... but then maybe that's what upsets me the most. I have friends and family to celebrate with, they just chose not to.

I want to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is fine. That I don't mind not doing anything on my birthday. But I do. I really fucking do. I would watch kid shows where they would have birthday parties for their friends. Or variety shows of adults celebrating their friends birthday at the bar. Or chic flicks of the girls boyfriend taking her out to a candle lit dinner overlooking the city. Or a family surprising their birthday girl who had a rough day at work. I just wish I could have that too.

 I hate people asking me "so what did you do?" and when looking sympathetic when I tell them I didn't do anything for my birthday because no one, including them, bothered to make time for me when I arranged a date to celebrate. I considered doing something on my own, taking a trip to the spa or watching a movie on my own, but every time I tried to get up and get ready, the amount of sadness that flowed through me was so unbearable I just laid back down and cried.

Image result for anime birthday sad
I wrote this yesterday.

Yesterday was my birthday. I spent most of it sleeping. I watched master of none on netflix, it reminded me of the realities of life, and comforted me. When I was done moping around, I watched Bratz, the animated show on youtube, and it made me think about my childhood and how it's shaped me to be who I am today. That's a post for another day.

Until then,


movies i watched in august '19 📺

Friday, 13 September 2019

My boyfriend and I unknowingly created a weekly movie night session where we watch random films on netflix, 123 movies or whatever is showing on sky movies. We like going to the cinema for blockbuster (well, mostly marvel lol) films but sometimes just chilling at home with the lights dimmed, pizza delivered, and a 'good' film to keep us entertained is all we need to enjoy each others company. Here are my mini reviews on the movies I watched last month! Of course, this post contains spoilers. 💢

Image result for shaft
Shaft - so we both saw this one on the Netflix homepage and immediately texted each other going "let's watch this!" lol. I didn't realize this was actually a franchise, but the film works well as a stand-alone film so it didn't really matter if I didn't know the backstory to Samuel L Jackson's character, the quick backstory explained it all pretty well. My teen crush Avan Jogia was in this film too, much to my boyfriends dismay lmao. The film was decent, had the stereotypical tropes of black families in America but it made it funny and unoffensive. It even spoke out against stereotypes of other races while poking fun at them. It was a lighthearted film with lots of cliche action scenes and romance, but the themes of family kept it all together. It was nice to the three generations of Shaft kicking ass at the end of the film. 4/5

Image result for the crimes of grindelwald queenie
The Crimes of Grindelwald - Ugh, this damn film. Okay guys i'm gonna be real honest here, I really didn't like this film. And it sucks so bad because I loved Fantastic Beasts so much? Even more than the original Harry Potter franchise, and I was so excited to see them develop the history of the wizarding world a little more, but man did this film suck. Tina is pretty much MIA for most of the film, Newt seems pretty confused with his mind thinking about multiple things (Credence, Tina, Grindelwald, Theseus and Leta), and my good sis QUEENIE! They did my girl so dirty. From the second it was revealed she had Jacob under a spell I knew something changed from the first film. Seeing her pretty much having an emotional breakdown was heartbreaking but, would that make her join the same person she fought against? idk lol... Tina's lack of emotion seeing her own sister join the dark side was pretty weak. Credence joining in seemed a bit off too considering Grindelwald literally tried to kill him in the first film. I felt the pacing suffered due to there being so much going on. I do hope that the next film explains everything better, because unlike Harry Potter, I don't have books to go back to when something doesn't make sense. 2/5 

Image result for white house down
White House Down - lol so we were originally watching Aquaman, but we ended up flicking through channels and found this one. I don't know how the film started exactly as we got there just before the bad guys started to infiltrate the white house. I feel bad for saying this but I can't take any film with Channing Tatum as the star seriously lmao. I don't think there's anything wrong with his acting, he's a great actor. For some reason though, he always stars in really lame movies lol. This one was pretty interesting and I love action and suspense films where the main guy is basically playing hide and seek with the bad guys while trying to save the world, or erm the president. 😅 The film is filled with cliche's and really dramatic stunts and explosive action scenes that it's actually hilarious! I found myself going "wtf? looooool" constantly. Since the film was trying to be serious I would say it's technically a shit film, but I enjoyed how bad it was so much that it became good! 3/5

Image result for chronicles of narnia
The Chronicles of Narnia - This is a movie I watched on my own after a long shift at work. I came home, kicked back on the sofa and flicked through channels to see Narnia, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe on tv so of course I had to watch it! Narnia was pretty much the Harry Potter for kids who's parent's didn't want them 'entertaining witchcraft' lmao, so I grew up loving this franchise! Every moment of the film fills me with so much emotions, I never get tired of watching it! Last night I watched Prince Caspian after a rough day and it brought me back to my childhood joys and filled me with nostalgia. I almost cried watching Aslan telling Peter and Susan they couldn't return to Narnia as they have aged too much and have learnt all they could. I adore the first two films but the 3rd one not so much. Not having all the Pevensie kids present was weird, and since Susan is my favorite character, I'm still super bitter about her never returning to Narnia and being left alone while the rest of her family are dead and enjoying life in "aslan's country" (read=heaven) in the final book, so I'm kinda happy we haven't seen any continuation of the franchise lol. If I had to rate the first two films? 5/5

What films have you been watching lately? Apart from Frozen 2, there isn't any more films being released this year that I'm excited for, so I'll probably continue to watch random films for the rest of the year.

Until then,

Minae 💖

life lately ; 03 - what's up danger?

Friday, 30 August 2019

*immediately after taking this photo i told my boyfriend to clean his dirty mirror lol 
The past few weeks have been extremely hot in the UK right now and I'm honestly not really impressed lol. I'm definitely an autumn kind of girl and I really can't wait for that season to finally land. Summer is great an all, but not when London is hitting the high 30's! If I wanted this kinda temperature I would have flew out to Dubai lmao

The two weeks before my holiday to Rhodes, Greece, I got up to quite a lot of really fun stuff!

July 2nd was the release of Spiderman: Far from home and my boyfriend surprised me with tickets so off we went! GUYSSSS it's literally one of my favorite marvel films ever! Tom Holland is imo the best Peter Parker and the best Spiderman. He knows how to play the character well! Jake Gyllenhaal really surprised me and throughout the film, I almost forgot he was the villain. The story really focused more on the affects of End Game and how people were trying to cope with the events. I liked that because I feel like we get caught up in the superhero part and forget about the lives of normal folk in the films. Unlike Iron Man or Capt who's lives revolve around their superhero, Peter is still a kid so they did well showing that to us. The ending credits.. omg i'm so excited for Spiderman 3 lol. (i wrote this before the sony/disney deal broke off lol... rip me)

*i didn't have any photo's of the actual pride event rip so here are a bunch of random pics i took that week 
July 6 was Pride in London! I was finally able to attend a pride parade! I'm usually always working during that time, and unfortunately the parade doesn't go past my store, so I always miss the festivities. My colleagues who didn't have work that day told me it was starting a little later than usual, so I could catch the second half of the parade after my shift! I went to meet up with them and had the best time! It's not often we meet up outside of work hours, and it felt so great to be ourselves and celebrate our truths! I tend to not really talk about this much since bisexuals get a lot of shit when we're in hetero-normative relationships but that day I felt accepted my my peers and everyone around me, It was so fun! I hope I can go next year haha

July 7 I attended NCT 127 'NEO CITY' in London! I've been soooo excited to see this group perform and I literally fell out of my ass when they announced a tour date in the UK lol. My sister and I went to the concert and had the best time! Regular is literally my favorite kpop boy group song in ages so when that started playing I was off my tits. 😂 The concert was so fun and the venue felt quite intimate. We had a lot of MC moments so we could talk to the members a lot more. I didn't realize a lot of the members spoke english really well haha. Johnny's british accent flopped dramatically but he promised to improve and show us again soon! My camera roll is literally filled with Jaehyun pics since he's my bias lol

July 12 was Day One for Hyper Japan! It was the events 10th anniversary but honestly it didn't really feel like it.. it felt like any normal hyper japan which was a shame since they promoted it like it was a big deal for them so I expected a lot more. But the event was still just as enjoyable as all the other years. I went with my sister and spent a lot of time in the artist alleys, queuing up for food, and playing dragon ball z (which is a super fun game and i kinda want to buy it now lol). Necronomidol performed on the hyper live stage too and it was so fun! The members walked passed me and I posted about it on twitter, then they followed my twitter! I was so happy ^^;

On the 13th I jetted off to greek island of Rhodes, and that's where this post ends haha

Until next time
Minae ✨

summer anime watch list 👀

Sunday, 25 August 2019

Hey guys! I know I know, two months with TWO blog posts each? I'm finally back haha! 

Related image
Boku no hero Academia
Since Myanimelist died on me last summer it created a whole fiasco where I got locked out of my account and of course, as I don't have access to the email I made when I was like 8, I couldn't regain my account, so I had to make a new one. While doing that I had to convert everything from my previous account to my current one, including the actual anime list. I had over 72 'plan to watch' anime, with half of them being anime I no longer had any intention of watching, so I went through each and every anime, read the synopsis's of them all, and decided whether I really planned on watching them anytime soon. needless to say, I didn't lol so around 50 anime slashed from the list, I began to focus on the anime I did actually plan to watch and got started on them this summer!

Boku no Hero Academia, the anime I had planned to watch for such a long time but just couldn't be bothered to start lol.. I finally got round to it! Your typical shounen anime, Main character Deku wants to be a Hero so he can be respected and help others, angry rival, loud glasses boy, cold guy that always ends up being popular, girl that only exists to develop main characters plot, the list goes on! While I did enjoy it a lot and got through all 3 seasons in 1 week (lol), I do feel like it was over hyped. It follows the same formula as any average shounen anime so I didn't really feel like I was watching something new if that makes sense? I feel like Deku is a bit of a weak protag compared to other MC's and I found myself liking Todoroki and All Might more. I absolutely hated Bakugo in season one and two but even in season 3 I found myself liking him, or rooting for him more than Deku, so I hope he gets better character development in the series soon. I also hope Uraraka gets a more fleshed out story then "i like deku and can control gravity" because right now I'm getting Hinata or Kairi vibes and it's annoying 😅

Image result for urusei yatsura
Urusei Yatsura
I recently got into watching old school anime! My love for the city pop genre and the idol genre brought me down the inevitable road of Showa era idols (idols from the 80's and 90's). One anime in particular always showed up in youtube videos of city pop playlists as clips, that one being Urusei Yatsura. With over 100 episodes I was hesitant to watch it but I finally caved in and holy shit guys, its literally become one of my favorite anime looool it's so fun to watch! It follows a school kid Ataru who, due to some weird events and his constant horny antics lol, has to marry this alien girl called Lum to keep the peace between her world and earth. Every episode makes me laugh and the character are all really developed and interesting. You know how you kinda lose interest if the episode focuses on someone that isn't the main few characters? I don't feel that with this anime. Even the side characters are entertaining. Lum is so cute, I want her as my best friend lol.

Another old anime I began watching is Creamy Mami! omg guys its so fucking hard to find episodes online to watch this show so when I found a youtube account that had the first 20 episodes I thought 'what the heck' and just began watching them at night before bed. It's so relaxing to watch magical girl anime just before I sleep, so I enjoyed this very much! You can definitely see where Sailor Moon and Tokyo Mew Mew got their concepts from. Sticking to the magical girl theme, I've also been watching Fate/kaleid liner Prisma☆Illya 3rei!!! You guys know how much I love Kuro haha so despite her not being the main character, I love watching this anime! I also began watching Flying Witch! It's such a relaxing anime that's still humorous and engaging. it's something I definitely recommend watching while you're having a lazy day in bed recharging.

Image result for kimetsu no yaiba ep 6
Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer)
Fire Force was one of the few actual 'summer 2019' anime I've been watching and I'm not gonna lie to you guys, it's a little bit of a let down so far.. I don't want to jump the gun and say it's the worst and i'm going to drop it, but I feel like the beautiful graphics are carrying the show. It seems to have a multiple plot lines but isn't sure how to relay them all, whilst giving us back stories for other characters. It's trying to do everything at once and it's making the overall experience lackluster. I do hope i'm wrong and the next few episodes shows some more character development and more insight to the story line, so we'll see where it goes and i'll update you later on.

The last one is Kimetsu no Yaiba and wow guys. wow. I really love this show. Like, really love this show! I've been watching anime since I came out the womb and I don't think i've ever seen a shounen be done so right! It has the usual shounen trope, 'my life was ruined due to x reason and now I vow to destroy all things that are titans/ghouls/government etc', but it has a twist. No, the MC Tanjirou, doesn't become a 'evil thing he yearned to destroy' but his sister Nezuko did instead, so he goes on a journey to protect her. While he is technically a 'Demon Slayer' he recognizes that these demons were once humans and gives them a merciful death. I really like this since so many shounen mc's love to build their kill list knowing full well they're human and it's always like ??? to me lmao.
Despite the last few episodes having a spider family which left my arachnophobia triggered for days, the anime has been absolutely flawless for me. From the story line to the character development, the amazing graphics and the great soundtrack, everything is engaging in some way and I do believe it's the best shounen anime i've seen in a very very long time. There's only around 4 episodes left according to MAL but I can't wait for them to announce a new season, because they have to! Easily Anime of the Year.

My new mal is minaeshit, so feel free to check out the rest of my currently watching list!

Until next time,

Minae ✨

life lately ; 02 - speak yourself

Monday, 12 August 2019

hey hey hey!
Hows your summer been treating you all? Honestly right now the uk is seeing 33-37 degrees on average this week and although i've just come back from greece where the heat was in the 30's (Celsius), heat like this is just... different in the uk. It's hard to explain but it's like, the air is hot?There's no breeze and it's soo humid. Our building are made to keep the heat in since we're usually a cold country but man... it's fucking out lol. The 5 fans in my house help a little though.

Summer for me kicked off in the best way possible since literally days after I handed in my final essay and went to comic con, I enjoyed what might possibly be one of the best concerts i've ever seen! On the 1st June, BTS' 'Speak Yourself' tour stopped at London, and me, Molly, and Amy, went to see them!

I never really spoke about my love for BTS on here before because honestly, I wouldn't really consider myself an army... I love a lot of their songs and I have my favorite member, but I don't watch their shows religiously or their V lives and concert fancams on youtube like I would for say, Shinee or Seventeen. I do really love the group though, enough to not want to miss huge event. I've been a kpop fan for well over 10 years now and I never would have believed anyone who said a kpop group would sell out 2 dates at Wembley Stadium. that's fucking HUGE! It would be a crime to miss it lol.

A day or so before the concert, let me tell you god was not on my side haha.
You guys remember how I work for disney right? So, I had finished my shift literally ran home to sleep and chill or whatever, as you do lol. I get home, I'm enjoying my afternoon and then Molly texts me this photo saying "hey isn't this your store?!?!?" with this iconic photo! You guys know where this is going right??? :)))))

Yup, J-hope visited my store on the day of my shift, after I had already finished it. What absolute shit luck lmfao. I hate to be bitter but.... WHYYYYYYYYY??? I only went to day one of the concert so the next day when I went back to work, all my colleagues were like "hey that kpop group you like was here! you missed them!" :))) All I could do was laugh lol... 

The concert! 

I had a date the night before so I knew I couldn't meet up with Amy and Molly at 6am like they planned lol. They wanted to wait in line for the 3D studio so they left early. I met up with them around 1pm? Guys let me tell you, everything looked so beautiful. As soon as you came out of the station you could see all the banners with the members faces on it leading right up to the stadium! 

I quickly met up with them and from then on I just had a really amazing time! They lined up with me to pick up my light stick and then we went to eat and cool down since it was super hot. The restaurant we went to was playing BTS the whole time, we walked in and was like "???huh" lol but the food was great and so were the staff! After that we got a few drinks and went straight inside the stadium an hour or so before the show.

The actual concert was incredible! I didn't want to know the set list beforehand to keep it all a surprise for me, and I was blown away from the second it started until the end haha! Not Today is one of my favorite songs from then and I was so shocked when it came up so quickly lol, I thought they would leave it until the end. My favorite part was the solo stages! Seeing all the different sides to the boys was a nice experience, since i'm so used to seeing them as a group it was nice to see them express themselves in their own way, it really suited the concerts theme of 'speaking yourself' hahaa

Suga and Jungkook are my favorite members so of course I enjoyed their songs the most, but Rapmon and J-hope surprised me and I really liked their performances too. Ngl I would skip their songs but after seeing it live I appreciate them a lot more.  I enjoyed the concert so much and felt really grateful for the experience. They performed their heart out and we could tell they were so thankful to be there.

I remember when Shinee was announced to perform at the Korean film festival in 2011? and only 200 tickets were going for it. I remember attending Super Juniors and Big Bang's Wembley Arena concerts 2012 with tears in my eyes thinking no way is this happening. I remember meeting Key, the members of Suju, Infinite, Beast, 4minute, and so many more groups who one by one just kept showing up to perform for us each year. From only being able to see short 240p clips of concerts and variety shows in 20 parts on youtube, so getting all of it right to my front door? I'm really grateful I got to experience kpop since the start of the hallyu wave. Seeing BTS perform in a Stadium was so surreal... I'm so happy they were able to take those few steps further than their seniors to reach western fans and the media just that bit more.

The just recently announced an extended break from activities and after watching them live, and seeing their Bring the Soul documentary a few days ago, I really respect their decision and hope they have a well deserved relaxing break from the industry to recuperate. When they eventually come back I'll be right there to support them!

Until then,

Minae x

Latest Instagrams

© m i n a e s h i. Design by FCD.